I know it has been FOREVER since you guys have heard from us. I apologize for me going dark the past few months. I was under an immense amount of stress that took over my life around February. I had some major changes happen in my career (change of manager...WORST EVER and my territory increased in size). These changes created so much tension that it took all my energy. What little energy I had left was for Luna and just trying to survive everyday life. With the many changes, the thought of adding one more thing to my plate seemed overwhelming to me. I knew if I pushed myself to do one more thing, I would break. What am I saying, I did break multiple times! My body was responding very negative to all this stress. I would have multiple migraines and week and at one point, things got so bad I was having anxiety attacks. I was living in a professional hell the past five months. Working crazy long hours and traveling over 80% of my time. It was taking a tole on me mentally and physically. I was exhausted! I was barely surviving. Thank goodness I had my village and meditation to help me cope with this. More importantly, it affected Lunitas the most! It was starting to affect her behavior, she was starting to act out due to my lack of presence. Anyway she could get my attention she did. More importantly it affected our relationship. I was not my happy go lucky self. I was more impatience and not present. There were days I did not know where I would muster the energy up to care for her. I did and it was not always pretty. Somehow and some way I found the strength to give what little I had to her. I hated what I was becoming. I hated what we were becoming. Life was not supposed to be this. I became super depressed, stressed, and emotional. I did not know how I was going to go on one more day like this.
Things got so bad, I had to take a leave. I had to even ask my Mama' to come help me until I could start to feel semi normal again. She is a God sent! During this time, I was blessed to focus on Luna and I and the things that truly matter, her and my well being. We had some of the best days while I was on leave. It was so nice being able to reconnect to her and share so many wonderful memories. I must say she loved me being at home. During my leave, within in a couple of weeks, I was back and ready to conquer the world. I felt a huge weight and fog had been lifted. I am happy to report that life is back and we are back on track ready to kick some booty!
I shared all this with you all one because I wanted to explain why we had gone missing and secondly, life can be hard and it is okay to ask for help. The best thing you can do is ask for help before it is too late.
Love and Light!
B
Summer shenanigans at the Oregon coast...sand in our hair, face, hands, clothes, and mouth! (Cannon Beach, OR)